Living With It
by Perry-Dice
Summary: When you live with someone you find out a lot about them. L knew that Light Yagami was more than the obvious.
1. Chapter 1

Light Yagami was 5 minutes away from gaining another percent. Honestly, who other than Kira needed to spend over 20 minutes in the bathroom fixing his hair every morning?

L gave a resigned sigh and fidgeted with the metal cuff encircling his wrist that linked him to the offending suspect. After nearly a week of spending every waking moment, which in L's case was almost every moment, with the boy L was really beginning to get sick of Light Yagami.

"How much longer is this process going to require?" L grumbled from the doorway. Light gave him an exasperated glare and then continued with the delicate process of ensuring he had just the right amount of gel controlling his smooth bronze locks.

"If you are trying to hold up this investigation with unnecessary rituals it only makes me suspect you that much more." L threatened and was rewarded with the usual sharp retort from Light.

"I've told you, I'm not Kira. What is your problem with me wanting to look presentable at work?" Light took a moment before assessing that he had applied the correct amount of gel. L's hopes were momentarily raised but quickly dashed when Light picked up yet another can of product from the sink.

"A man with your intellect should be aware of the useless nature of appearance. I myself spend minimal effort on it because it is pointless. And please don't give me a lecture on making a good impression as I am fairly certain that you have made your impression on the task force by now." L's impatience was obvious in his voice, encouraging the contrary Light to slow the process down further.

"I am concerned with how I appear because if I was to change my established habits I am sure that everyone would notice." Light did not take his eyes off of his own reflection as he spoke, his warm brown eyes transfixed by his own immaculate image.

"Why so worried about changing? Don't want to attract suspicion, because-" But L was quickly cut off from making his routine accusation.

"Don't start. I will take my time if I want to. And I want people to think that I am concerned with how they think of me. It is a sign of respect that I care about their opinion." Light said stiffly. L was silent after this, not wanting to admit defeat but not sure of how to continue. He could not stop one more outburst, however, when Light put down the can he had been using only to pick up yet another.

"How many chemicals are you going to use? This is the 4th one!" L exclaimed in despair. Light finally turned to face him, the can clutched in his hand like a weapon.

"The first one was for hydrating, the second was styling gel, the third one was for holding and this one is for shine. They all have a very distinct purpose and I would appreciate if you would stop harassing me. This will all go a lot faster if you keep your opinions to yourself." Light hissed and then sprayed a liberal amount of chemical on his head.

L was slightly awed by the sheer amount of things Light expected his hair to do. His own unruly mop usually did not more than sit on top of his head. He was perfectly content with this. He turned his gaze back to Light for a moment.

The teenager's long frame was still hunched over the mirror. Even in this pose he still looked graceful and elegant, his almost frighteningly thin legs perfectly still and his delicate hands gently shifting one strand of hair a fraction of an inch to the left, like it was surgery.

L suddenly felt the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach that had been growing steadily for the past week. Had he remembered to even brush his teeth today? When was the last time he had taken a shower? It was frustrating not to remember and still more to be humiliated about something he did not even care about. He pushed the feeling away bitterly and tried not to think about it.

A knock came on the door to the room L shared with Light now. L moved to answer it but quickly realized that Light would most likely be moved to violence if his hand were to experience a sudden jerk at this point in hair styling.

"Are you guys ready yet because I got here early and I was wondering if you needed any help…" Matsuda's voice called from outside, sounding pathetically hopeful.

"I fear we will not be ready for some time, Matsuda. Light will be unable to cope without another 5 products in his hair." L drawled provoking an indignant gasp from Light.

"Hair products? Geez, I usually just wash my hair and let it be. I thought all that hair gel stuff was a little feminine." Matsuda said doubtfully and L felt reassured.

"It is not always feminine! Plenty of men-" But it was Light's turn for his rant to be cut off.

"I have observed that you are not a particularly masculine man Light. Pairing this with my observation that you are not attracted to Misa leads me to conclude that you are a homosexual." L said matter of factly, facing away from Light so he could not see the grin L usually wore when he was bothering Light for the fun of it.

"What? No, that is completely untrue! I never said that I did not find Misa desirable! Besides, every man has some people they just aren't attracted to. Misa just isn't my type! If your going to be judgmental like this over everything that I do then-"

"You seem overly defensive Light. I completely respect you no matter what your sexual orientation might be. It's just another irrelevant thing, like your hair."

Light spluttered furiously after this pronouncement but could not seem to summon a response. After a stretch of awkward silence Matsuda's muffled voice came unsurely through the door.

"Are you guys going to hook up?"

Light looked like he might snap but then took a slow breath and regained his composure.

"Look, I understand that some of the things that matter to me do not matter to you. I can assure you that I am not attracted to men and that I have no reason to lie. I agree that this is an irrelevant subject but it is also a question of self-identity and you seem intent on challenging mine. I admit to being a bit of a perfectionist but the last time I checked this wasn't the problem you are making it." Light gave an almost smug smile when he finished but his face remained as serene as always. L was not perturbed.

"How long have you been working on that dissertation? It seems to me that your obsession with perfection has more control over you than you are aware of. If anyone challenges the idea that you are an essentially flawless human being, you become immediately defensive. This suggests that cannot accept any insult, a trait in close connection with Kira. If Kira believes himself to be a god he must create the illusion that he is perfect so congratulations Light, you have earned another percent." The satisfaction of another victory overwhelmed the troublesome feeling in L's stomach. Light's face flushed for a moment before he turned to the door and marched out of the room, dragging L behind him.

"Fine. Have your little victory, but when people start asking me why I look different today I will blame you."

For some reason when no one noticed Light looking any different for the rest of the day L's triumph did not taste as sweet.

Although Light kept his stony, hostile silence when they were alone together L found that the unpleasant feeling had just returned with a vengeance.

Light could spend all morning striving for his inhuman level of perfection but he had so much natural faultlessness that people could barely tell the difference. L would never have that. He again pushed the feeling to the back of his mind but still devoured a chocolate mousse to ease the bitterness inside of him with sugar.

When Light washed the chemicals from his hair that night L watched him as it dried. There was almost no difference. Light's hair was still Light's hair.

As Light began to doze off, L pulled out his laptop and sat with it on the bed. From beside him he heard Light murmur drowsily, his anger forgotten,

"I've always wondered, do I look weird when I sleep?"

L fought the urge to kick Light off of the bed but could not bring himself to reassure the boy.

"You look normal but all that matters is that inside, you're a complete freak. And it's what's inside that counts." L stated and waited for Light's usual rage. When there was no response L was puzzled but then looked down and saw that his suspect was fast asleep now. L smiled to himself, Light did look sort of weird when he slept.

If there was one thing that L was now certain of it was that he would never live with anyone again. Living with people was hard. Living with perfection was hard.

_A/N: This is the newest story, will probably be short. Not planning on using any pairing really, just digging around in people's minds. If you review I will love you forever (and probably go read all your stories because I have no life). _


	2. Chapter 2

Light was 5 inches away from gaining another percent. Honestly, who other than Kira had such an insanely large personal bubble?

L rocked back on his heels and ran his thumb across his lips while Light scooted surreptitiously away from him again. L cautiously shifted his chair another inch closer to Light's. Determined not to acknowledge this little battle, Light kept his eyes fixed on the desk in front of him. The soft glow of the many screens washed out the usually golden color from his face leaving his tight expression cold. Light stretched a little and moved himself further away from L.

"Ok Light, what is today's issue?" L said, deciding to voice his complaint. Light glanced at him quickly and then turned back to the desk.

"Could you not sit so close to me? We don't match."

L was rendered momentarily speechless by this.

"We don't match? That is the only reason you could think of? Firstly it is pointless to worry about matching, secondly we are two different people so it doesn't matter if your clothing matches my own, and thirdly we are both wearing white so how do we not match?" This was getting ridiculous, L decided. Light shrugged.

"You're wearing white, I'm wearing cream." L's mind indulged in a split second battle with reason. He still could not determine the correct cause of Light's obvious insanity. Light's uncanny awareness of what L was thinking seemed to kick in right then and he put down his report with a sigh and faced L in preparation for what would surely be a long discussion.

"I don't like to be near people that I clash with. If I'm with someone who looks too wild or even too formal I feel out of place so I tend to distance myself from them."

"Is that a comment on my abrasive personality? Because you will have to cooperate with me no matter what if we are ever going to solve this case…" Light rolled his eyes at this.

"No, it is a purely shallow reaction. I don't just avoid people who I do not always agree with." Light crossed his arms and gave L that level gaze he did so well. His eyes looked so open and innocent yet there was an untouched depth beneath that.

"So you mean that you want everyone to look like you?" L asked, not really wanting an answer, mostly just his usual provoking.

"No! I just want to feel like I'm in the right place." Light said forcefully.

"Fine, then you're just an intense conformist. I expected better from you." L was flooded with the joy of victory again as he saw the beginnings of Light's pout. Light quickly smoothed his face over but L was satisfied with the fact that Light wanted L to respect him. Even take pride in him. L was still the winner.

"It's not that I'm a conformist I just…" But L saw that Light did not know what 'he just'. L had hit home on this. He rewarded himself with a large spoonful of ice cream, vanilla, the color of Light's shirt.

"It's perfectly natural. Tribe mentality will always be present in humans of lesser intelligence." L said with a slight smirk. His brain was whirring now, ideas and thoughts whizzing frantically around on his deduction circuits.

"Conformism is just a desire for safety, I'm sure that with the current situation we will observe an increase of this 'tribe mentality' to give the illusion that we are safe from Kira. If you stand out from the flock, you get picked off." Light gave a thin smile, verging on actual menace. L experienced a bizarre combination of emotions he often felt when around Light Yagami. Something in the boy's unintentional predatory stare could both irk, terrify, and delight L.

"So you believe that Kira will kill you if your clothes don't match." Light faltered at the simple absurdity of L's statement. L watched him rub his eyes in an attempt to get that completely unruffled expression L so loved to break back onto his face.

"No, but if I am accepted by my peers as one of the tribe then they are less likely to betray me to Kira." Light said firmly.

"And if you are Kira, don't you want to be the head of the tribe? Shouldn't you want everyone to match you?" L drove his point onward but Light showed no sign of defeat. He raised his eyebrows slightly and his bright eyes seemed to shine.

"Wrong, if I'm Kira then I'm the predator."

L quickly turned back to his ice cream to think this theory through. His mind was moving too fast now and he couldn't hear the whispers of his thoughts anymore. With a frown he concentrated hard on the sweetness of the ice cream and after a moment he could think again.

"I suppose you're right." He put down his spoon with a sigh; ice cream was only for winners.

"But since I'm not Kira that does make me just another conformist like you said." Light added, his face passive and friendly once more. He rubbed his wrist where the cuff encircled it, lost in thought.

"You're panicky Light. The minute you think that you might be wrong, or out of place, or disliked you start to panic. It must be very stressful. You do a good job of hiding those subtle signs of distress but I can see it. I'm sure Kira is just as high strung, he would need to be." L took an obnoxiously loud slurp of now melted ice cream as a reward. The only term he knew of to describe Light's face now was 'flabbergasted'.

"That, that isn't the point! Look, could you just sit a little further away?" L consented to shift his chair further away, satisfied with Light's concession. He watched the tension drain away from the boy as he moved further away.

L debated for a moment and then with a gleeful yelp he launched himself out of his chair towards Light, his powerful legs carrying them both onto the ground several feet away. Light's startled squeak was quickly drowned out by L's rather deranged laugh.

"Am I too close?"

"Damn it, this isn't funny! You're in my space, you're touching me, and you smell like syrup! I don't even want to know when you last took a shower or what the task force is going to think when they get back from lunch, which incidentally I still have not had because all you offered me was ice cream and that isn't lunch!" The words tumbled out of Light's mouth very quickly and L could feel his heart pounding beneath him.

"Light, you're acting like that made sense. Cease this panicking and I will request Watari to prepare a second lunch for you." L rolled off of Light who scrambled to his feet immediately and for some inexplicable reason began to brush imaginary crumbs off of his shirt.

"Never. Do. That. Again." Light snarled, his face flushed. He huddled back in his chair in front of the desk refusing to look at L.

L shuffled back to his own chair and pressed a button on the desk.

"Watari, will you prepare a lemon cake? Light has requested a different lunch." L allowed himself a moment to enjoy Light's discouraged moan before turning back to his work.

When the task force came back in from their lunch break they found the chain of the handcuffs stretched tight between L and Light but neither of them offered an explanation.

L took a shower that night; Light standing outside of the shower curtain while L basked in the glory of water running over him. He did smell like syrup. Having Light's presence outside of the shower led him to scrub himself raw. The uncomfortable feeling in his stomach grew with each pass of the soap. He dropped the whole bar when he had a sudden epiphany. He knew what the feeling was now.

L was jealous of Light. He wished that even though he didn't see the need to be normal, to be like everyone else, it was at least possible for him. He was becoming certain that Light was anything but normal yet the boy hid it so smoothly. It was like an ache inside of L, the feeling he had come to know as loneliness. It was such a constant companion he barley noticed it anymore. But with this jealousy burning is his stomach he could not stop the loneliness from boiling there.

He could find comfort in being mysterious, unreachable, and always superior but something as simple as normality was forever out of his reach.

He got out of the shower when all of the hot water was gone and when Light fell asleep he didn't even bother to continue working. His sleepless eyes would not close, he mind would not turn off so he had nothing better to do than stew in his personal brand of discontentment.

He turned to glare enviously at Light but was stopped by the somewhat ludicrous sight of the boys sleeping face. The jealousy was washed away, like the smell of syrup had been. Now he only pitied Light, for being panicky and more controlled by his ideas than he controlled them.

Living with people was hard. Living with fear was hard.

_A/N: Writing an L centered story is difficult. It's hard to write believable thoughts for someone you don't really understand that well. Tell me if I'm doing a good job!_


	3. Chapter 3

Light Yagami was 5 pens away from gaining another percent. Honestly, who other than Kira had to have his desk that precisely straitened before he could work?

It was moving on towards midnight but Light was staying up to help L after the break through today. L had planned to spend the night alone, checking over papers and looking for evidence to support Light's theory that the Yotsuba group was connected to Kira.

The work seemed like too much for any normal man but L had felt certain that he could do it if he worked diligently. This caused him to feel mildly insulted when Light offered to help he but he could not actually explain why it bothered him.

L was pre-irritated and was in a worse mood than usual. His thoughts swirled, dark and treacherous, and he found it hard to concentrate. He blamed this on Light however and the boy's bizarre habit of straightening his row of color coordinated pens every five minutes.

Even when they were perfectly straight already.

L ground his teeth a little and tried to shut out Light's hand reaching once more to caress the row of pens into a flawless line. He coaxed the tip of one a fraction of a centimeter to the right, looked at it for a moment, then cautiously nudged it back a fraction to the left. He hesitated for another moment, his eyes alert and sharp.

L prepared himself to kick should the teenager shift the pen back to the right again. Luckily Light seemed content for the moment and went back to shuffling through stock prices.

L stared at the files in front of him without seeing them. His brain had spun out again and his wild thoughts burned in his head unchecked. He locked his toes together in an attempt to wrestle his mind back into working condition. This would be a long night.

Light slowly reached for the pens again and L gave up pretending to work. He focused his whole being on Light's ritualistic rearrangement of the pens.

Light put his golden hands on each side of the pens and gently pressed the pens together an infinitesimal amount. He took a moment to admire his handiwork before picking one up and making a note of something on his paper. With even greater care and precision he nudged the pen back to its appropriate place.

L could take no more of this and gave in to the compulsion that had been growing inside of him since he had first noticed the habit. He reached one long, spindly hand out and quickly shoved one of the pens to the side so it was skewed from the others.

The next moment that Light glanced up from his work he immediately straightened the pen. L immediately reached back out and made it crooked.

Light must have noticed out of the corner of his eye because he glanced up again and frowned a little. He smoothed the pens again but looked uneasy.

Quick as a whip L flicked the pen to the side. This time when Light looked up he glared suspiciously at L who was having far too much fun bothering Light to stop. He pointedly straightened the pens but the moment he turned away L had plucked one away from the bundle.

When Light saw this new disturbance in his pens he wheeled on L.

"Do not move the pens. I cannot work if you move the pens."

"Why not?" L asked with his disarming smile. The simple question seemed to throw Light.

"Be- because then the pens aren't strait so…"

"Why does that prevent you from working?"

"Look, there is nothing wrong with liking things neat so could you just stop bothering me for one minute here and we might actually get somewhere on this case." Light snarled.

"You didn't answer my question." L nearly purred this; Light's discomfort the perfect distraction. Light opened his mouth and then closed it again. He turned away but L just peered over to see the distress on his face.

"I don't know why I do it, I just do. It's not like it's hurting me or anyone else for that matter. What is your obsession with making my life as miserable as you can? Is this just fun for you?" Light's hands actually shook a little but L just rocked back on his heels and said calmly,

"Yes. This is fun."

Light messaged his forehead.

"Predictable."

"Exactly Light. As a detective I am in the practice of observing people. Everyone has unique habits but your habits are more like rituals. You seem to be physically unable to do things unless you have completed your ritual leading me to conclude that you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." L launched into this rant with gusto.

"I do not have OCD. That is the biggest overreaction I have ever seen. I just like things to be tidy." Light gave a superior sniff and made his face impassive once more.

"So would you mind if I set all the pens at an angle?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then your obsessions are hindering you. You are being crippled by your own mind. It can be quite serious. Perhaps you should look into getting some help with that." L said the last sentence in a casual offhand way but the minute the word 'help' was out of his mouth Light Yagami slammed his hand onto the table, scattering pens everywhere.

"That is it. We are not talking about this anymore. If you don't want my help, fine. Do it alone. I just don't see why you have this compulsion to constantly pester me." And with that Light stormed out of the room leaving L mildly surprised and covered in pens.

L discovered to his fury that even after a night spent working hard he could not do all the work alone. To make matters worse had no qualms about passing the job off to Mogi. It appeared that Light was the one man he simply couldn't stand to work with.

L knew it was illogical to limit himself by refusing help from the boy; he couldn't just get rid of a suspect. He took his own shame and forced onto Light Yagami by pestering the boy at every chance he got. L was aware that it was cruel but he didn't particularly care.

The one thing that consoled L was the fact that he appeared to be the one man Light Yagami could not stand to work with. Although in the morning Light would be his charming friendly self, he never mentioned their arguments. This intensely private behavior, verging on plain denial, suggested that Light could not bare the idea that he could not force himself to get along with L through sheer will power.

This fact caused L to make a firm declaration; Light Yagami had plenty of secrets waiting to be probed. If L could just live with him for a while he could find them out.

This fact caused L to make a resolution, he would find out everything about Light Yagami even if it killed him. He was beginning to think it would.

This fact caused L to draw a conclusion; Light Yagami's secrets made him the most dangerous opponent L had ever faced. L had the feeling that Light was willing to flick him back onto his place like he would a pen.

The following night Light went to bed early, saying his pleasant good night and straightening the clock by the bed to a more precise angle. L lay next to him for a while, thinking about all the work he planned to do that night. He would get up and do it in just a minute but first he wanted to think.

L wanted to crack Light's calm and collected façade. He knew he should remain concentrated on the Yotsuba group but he could not escape the notion that Light Yagami would still remain the answer.

To his utmost surprise L woke up the next morning having slept a near record 8 hours. He cursed himself for the careless mistake of falling asleep but couldn't help but wonder if he had blundered onto an accidental victory. People were supposed to sleep at night; it was their proper place. Was L supposed to sleep? Did he even know his true place?

Living with people was hard. Living with your place was hard.

_A/N: Trying to reconnect story to plot? check. Starting to run out of synonyms for perfect. Reviews are loved!_


	4. Chapter 4

Light Yagami was 5 smiles away from gaining another percent. Honestly, who other than Kira would try to act this good and noble?

If Light wasn't a stuck-up and pretentious faker who was glued to his high horse when he was alone, it was nothing compared to when his father was around.

When Soichiro Yagami entered a room Light became a perfect role model verging on superhero. If he had been glum or irritable or even happy before his father appeared he would immediately change into a serious and intense (but also morally superior) mood.

Judging by the fact that Soichiro Yagami never found it odd, L assumed that Light regularly did this. Not that it wasn't normal, most children wanted to impress their parents or at least live up to their standards. L just found Light's brand of sickeningly good to be more vile than most.

There was a period of time after the task force went home and Misa went to bed but before Light did not. L and Light would sit together but neither would really work up the motivation to do any work. They never usually talked, just sat and had a few minutes of peace.

L was thinking about calling Watari for something to eat one of these nights when Light unexpectedly said something. He had been unusually talkative today after a spat the task force had gotten into over whether they should arrest the Yotsuba group using evidence they had collected from the videotapes Wedy had installed. L had solved this problem with minimal trouble using Misa's infatuation with Light. Just another example of the Yagami's high and mighty arrogance.

Light was shuffling through a report on Kira's latest victims with a bored disinterest. In a distracted tone he had articulated a sentence to no one in particular.

"They all look so disapproving don't they?"

L was mildly startled but latched onto the strange statement immediately.

"Light, they're hardened criminals. Why would they disapprove of anything?"

"Probably successful people. You could call it jealousy or resentment but it just ends up as disapproval of people who have better luck." Light flipped through the pages and L was thankful he didn't look. L felt his stomach lurch a little as his horrible over-thinking brain told him that he felt like that all the time. About Light.

"I'm not sure you can make such a general statement Light, besides, it would make more sense to assume that they only disapprove of people who attempt to portray themselves as ethically superior because they were born into better circumstance or as you put it 'had better luck'."

Light's alert eyes flashed when L spoke and he looked up at him. He looked as shaken as L felt. It passed in a moment however and he just shrugged. L decided to pry deeper into the matter with his incurable curiosity.

"Why would you care about their opinions anyway? You have expressed a desire to impress coworkers out of respect but does your compulsion really stretch to gaining the respect of convicted murderers?" L ran his fingers over his lips. Light did not meet his gaze but turned back to the victim's faces.

"I don't know." He said tightly after a moment, looking like he wished he had never spoken. L's eyes were bright with the delight of infuriating him.

"Does their disapproval bother you that much? Why do need to prove you are better? Aren't you sure that you are? Would you kill for approval?" Light rolled his eyes when he saw were L was inevitably taking this.

"I'm beginning to suspect that everything makes me Kira to you."

"Exactly."

Light seemed to despair and tried to change the subject rather blandly.

"This one sort of looks like my father doesn't he?"

L's brain kicked into high gear at this. His almost child-like face lit up and he leaned forward a little.

"That's the same man you said looked disapproving. Do you think your father is disapproving?" It was almost imperceptible but Light paled at this and L's breath caught with excitement. "Too much to live up to? Are you not good enough Light? Is that what the picture is saying, or is that what your father is saying? That even you're perfect is not enough."

It was obvious now, Light was definitely paler. He didn't speak for a long moment but his mouth twitched and he clenched his fists.

"Insulting me is one matter, my father is another matter." He almost growled. L, however, had no shame.

"So your father can do no wrong then? Is he that perfect human you aspire to be? I can tell you with certainty that he does not spend nearly as long on his hair, nor does he always match his clothes and I have frequently noted his pens in disarray. Surely-"

Light's fist slammed into his face. He bit his tongue on impact and tasted salty blood. The flavor revolted him slightly. It took a moment for his head to stop spinning but when his vision cleared he gave Light a winning (if bloody) smile.

Light was fuming, his inexplicable defeat burning in his eyes. He sat down heavily and rubbed his hand, looking tired.

"Sorry." He said dully. "Overreaction."

"This is only, what, the forth time? I expect you probably hurt your hand more than my face like that." L said rolling back to his feet and rolling his jaw around experimentally.

He crawled over to Light, taking care to invade his space, and seized his hand. Light winced but slowly straitened his fingers. After a moment of examining the boy's bloody knuckles L declared him fine, if bruised.

Light stared silently forward, determinedly not looking at L. He spit out his words like they disgusted him, still transfixed by the wall across from them.

"You've probably noticed by now that I'm not everything I want to be."

L gave his intentionally irritating grin and the already tense Light flinched.

"Oh, I am sure you are not everything you want to be."

Light stared at him for a moment and then he narrowed his eyes repeated his constant chant with a near smile of familiarity.

"I'm not Kira."

They went to bed after that, at least Light did. L sat up and worked through the night. They did not mention Light's father again after that but easily returned to their neutral routine of petty insults and companionable sleuthing.

But L was not satisfied.

This was not unusual. He often found his mind straying to ponder who exactly was Light Yagami. It had seemed simple enough at first; he was an arrogant child with a perfectionist nature. It was vaguely irritating and potentially deadly but now L began to suspect something else.

There was something more to Light. Almost completely imperceptible but there was an underlying tone that he could not quite define.

Could he actually call Light crazy? The questioned remained in his mind like an itch. He could say that he was a pompous and picky. He could say that he asked too much. But could he really call him crazy?

Could he really say there was a screw loose somewhere or did he only want to believe that so he could end up the better man? L was beginning to suspect that he had a few screws loose himself.

He cursed his mind for not slowing down for long enough for him to pick the thoughts out of it.

In the end he would usually just gorge himself on ice cream until he achieved at least a metaphorical brain freeze.

Could he really condemn Light's behavior when his only goal apparently was to please others? Perhaps he really was the morally superior of the two.

With questions eating away at him (while he ate away at his ice cream) L prepared himself for another sleepless night and sighed.

Living with people was hard. Living with better people was hard.

_A/N: I love Light, he's a slime-ball. I could start an 'I always fall for the bad guy' support group at this rate. How am I doing with Light so far in this? _


	5. Chapter 5

Light Yagami was 5 children away from gaining another percent. Honestly, who other than Kira would be so short tempered with kids?

Light was sitting next to L on the wooden park bench, looking vaguely irritated at the screams of the children swarming over the nearby swings. The slanting light of late afternoon made the park glow and Light's golden skin flared magnificently.

L was certain that his plan would go perfectly. The next day he had no doubt that they would somehow bring Higuchi into custody and they would know how Kira killed. That was why he had decided that remaining at task force headquarters with nothing to would do more harm than taking a well-deserved break.

Light had whined over the idea of going to the park, no doubt worrying about what people would day about the handcuffs. L, however, had not actually been outside in several weeks and found the thought of sitting for a while in the park too enticing to refuse.

L did not expect Light to be so easily disturbed by small and innocent children just having fun. This was crossing the line from up tight to crotchety.

"Light, is there something wrong with children?" L finally sighed after watching Light give pained glances at passing parents every time one of the kids giggled.

"No I'm fine with children. They are a necessary step of life, I'm just not used to them I guess. I'm not fond of watching people do things that will humiliate them when they look back." Light said, half of his face shining almost white in the sun.

"I do not see having fun as an embarrassing act." L said drolly. "Perhaps you have never had fun Light. I would hate to imagine you as a child." Light smiled angelically at this.

"Of course I was a child once but now I'm not. My behavior at the time might have been excusable but it would not be now. I'm older, I know more, I've grown up."

"Incidentally Light I find you very childish. You lack maturity on many levels. I myself am also very childish but unfortunately for you Kira is also very childish." L smirked a little to himself but kept his face still, absorbing the warmth onto his ghostly pale visage.

Light looked exasperated.

"Can't I have one days peace from that?"

"No Light, you cannot. I expect you wish this park was more peaceful but I would guess that if you removed the presence of the children from this park you would find it less relaxing. There is something disconcerting about solitude, don't you agree?" L mused and rubbed his lip to get his mind going a bit.

"I suppose." Said Light carefully, looking unsure where L was taking this.

"If you're alone then there is no one to help you. Even Kira cannot work alone we notice." L said and locked his eyes with Light's, giving him that piercing stare he had perfected over the years.

"I imagine you have experienced far more solitude than me." Light said narrowing his eyes so that his eyelashes caught the glow of the sun and shone.

"Being by yourself isn't always being alone Light."

The sun slanted into the corner of L's eyes, making half of his vision a burst of brightness.

"Was that supposed to sound deep and mysterious?" Said Light brushing the comment off and trying not to twitch when L drew closer to him.

"I think you're crazy Light." Said L bluntly. "I think your mind is messed up and you're far to smart for that to be safe. I think that you're going to deny it forever unless I tell you with all certainty that you are insane."

Light took a moment to gape.

"What? That's- that doesn't… You- Why would you even say that?" Spluttered Light, caught completely off guard.

"You try to stay in this tiny safe zone for so many years. You have to look normal, which is perfect. You have to blend in but at the same time you must stand out as perfect. You have to stay in this perfect place and never let anything knock you out. You have to live up to the expectations you set yourself, which are perfect.

"I still don't know how you could take the stress for so long. There needed to be an escape, a vent and you probably know what I think that is. I don't see how you've been living with it."

L sighed and Light sat in stunned silence next to him.

"Please don't try to argue with me Light." L murmured when Light finally opened his mouth. Light closed his mouth again.

About 5 minutes later a screaming pack of children went hurdling past the bench. Light's eye gave a little twitch but he said nothing. L decided he would have to prompt him.

"These kids are only doing what they want. There is no shame in that." L coaxed. As usual, he was spot on target.

"There is. If your purely hypothetic situation has me as a mentally disturbed individual than doing what I want would be morally wrong. The best option would be to fight against these problems so they don't hinder me. It would be hard but I trust my own strength of self-control. I can beat these things. I have the courage to be better than I actually am!" Light's eyes sparkled and his voice was alarmingly full of feeling. He was almost smiling, assured, and as usual dignified.

"No you can't." Said L shattering the nearly inspirational mood. "If you're insane then you can't just stop it through sheer will power. The world doesn't work that way Light. You can never win. Someone always has to help you but you will have to discard your pride before that happens." L tried not to look smug, sensing that this would be perceived as incredibly provoking and callous.

"You're over thinking this L. It's that simple, you are over thinking me. If you could let yourself trust me for just a moment you might realize that people actually are what they say they are most of the time. Maybe you're the one who's crazy." Light said darkly. That hit a sore spot for L who immediately pushed the conversation back into safer realms.

"Well you're certainly crazy if you're Kira which you must admit Light, you do appear to be." L challenged, the jealousy in his stomach burning again.

"Then if you think I'm Kira, you think I'll never be able to beat him." Light reminded, looking miffed.

"Well since you seem not to have any memory of the incident now, I'm sure that a man like you would have set up a sure way that you will regain memory. Then I am positive that you will have no qualms about continuing your plan. Either way, you cannot lose, unless I catch you first." L said allowing himself to smirk then.

"But I don't want to go back now. I don't want to be Kira even if I might have before." Light sniffed, smoothing down the ever-flawless hair.

"It seems unlikely that you can stop it. You would have to go up against the most difficult enemy you have ever faced, yourself. Of course since I am superior to you there is no need to worry so much. I will catch you somehow Light." L smiled.

"Is it crazy that I found that oddly comforting?" Light smiled in return then glanced furtively around at the people who were now staring at them.

"Yes." L replied flippantly.

"Lets go back now, alright? This park is too… loud." Light said with another disgusted glance at the scream children.

They walked off together as the sun began to set. Light's hair and eyes glowed red in the sun and L could not help but feel chilled. If Light could not live with himself, how could L live with him?

L would remember this as he lay in the boy's arms, trying vainly to convince his heart to beat. There was a madness that had stirred in Light Yagami and had eaten him alive. Kira was a predator that could imitate the pack exactly. A true wolf in sheep's clothing. At least he had allowed L the final satisfaction of being right, completely right.

But L knew that he would defeat him one day. Somehow. If he didn't do it he was sure that Light Yagami would defeat himself.

Living with people was hard.

But L would not have to live with anything for much longer

THE END

_A/N: Did you guys see what I did there? It was 5 parts, I always started with 5 something? Hey? I am so clever! Actually that was completely accidental ha ha. So did you love it, hate it, not care about it? Review!_


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